Posted by: kaitagsd | August 5, 2009

*IMPORTANT*; Updates August 5, 2009

Stocks – one of my own predictions came true… AIG went up a crapload today! Too bad that in reality I would not have trusted my intuition and bought it. Great profits to those that did of course… Will be looking at Activision-Blizzard and General Electric in the long run.

Japanese – not much, tried reading Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu, couldn’t really get past the prologue. I mean I can very very VAGUELY understand it, but there’s just too much random hiragana words here and there that, when all chained into a run-on sentence that is like 5 paragraphs long, makes itself very uncomprehendable. Gonna SRS it up, maybe read the translation and try to understand it…

Music – none

Physical – worked out. I hate workout B, its the one with Standing Military Press in it (SMP). I have yet to improve on the SMP. I started out barely doing 55 total, then moved up… tried 85 today, struggled for one set. Moved down to 75 and had helluva hard time. I’ve been on this weight for like 5 workouts already. Better get some supplements and diet changing done soon…

School – went to school, slept in class, took some notes, went home. Was a pointless class. Didn’t do any review today either. Crap.

Now there is ONE THING that makes this update important.

I have successfully diagnosed myself with ADD, attention deficit disorder. You can read it plenty here. Good god, I have all the symptoms. I’ve concluded they aren’t just “personality” problems, or passive laziness that I have tried to blame on some disorder, but to actually freakishly have all those symptoms to an extensive degree, I repeat, extensive, is not normal. I could list out 10000 examples for each symptom, and you would see a trend. I’m not going to do that. I hear complaints every week, sometimes every day, on why I do this and that (negative complaints of course). Surprisingly most of them are, in fact, ADD-based.

Solution?

Ritalin for now. I’ve posted a thread here and hope I get some suggestions soon. If all goes well, I’ll try some Ritalin. I really need some boost to my low-arousal personality.

Please, I’ve had enough with those “Stfu, turn off your computer and just study” comments I hear from friends sometimes. I have ADD, they don’t.

Oh wait, perhaps I’m being a hypocrite and blaming too much on ADD, but to be honest, I think I really have it. Its when you don’t want to do something because you really don’t want to, and don’t feel like it. To some level, you realize no one, not even yourself, can help that, maybe except a death threat from anti-Chinese terrorists (I’m Chinese).

If there’s a problem, assume the worst, identify a solution, and fix it.

I’m sick of people, parents, etc. saying “Oh don’t be so quick to say you have this sickness, that illness, that disorder, I’m sure its just because you’re lazy!” Come on, if I knew about ADD, I wouldn’t have become where I am today.

IN CONCLUSION I stand by the point that, today, August 5, 2009, I have diagnosed myself with ADD. And I will combat it, thanking its existence so that I finally won’t be so lost in a pool of depression and unhappiness, and instead will have a term, a scientific word, to define my problems. And because of that, I will be able to combat it as a solidly defined “thing” rather than wade through a bunch of unnecessary, saddening emotions.


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