I’ve been pretty lost in a myriad of thoughts and crap lately.
Really behind in school, with no definitive way of consistently delivering hard work.
Emotions affected by the most retarded things, for which I don’t even want to name.
Getting angry because my mom walks into my room to check things out. I feel that my personal privacy is being invaded.
I’m interested in way too many things. But because I am, I will constantly be distracted by something else while I’m working on something. I know school is number one priority, but I will constantly be thinking of when I get to go out, play DotA, learn some Japanese, crap like that…
The distraction will exist no matter what. Placing myself in a computer-less environment does wonders, but I don’t even want to describe the magnitude of discipline this would take. Rainy season is coming, and going out to the library to study seems gloomy as hell (oh wait, there we go again – emotions, the piece of shit that messes us over).
Life seems like a constant struggle. Sometimes its fun, most of the time it isn’t. Most of the time my fingers are cold, my feet are cold, I want to talk to someone but I need to do my work, I’m behind in school in some aspect, I want to learn/read 50 other things, I go do that but something like Facebook or MSN distracts me, I get pissed off, I go take a nap. There goes half the day.
This has repeated for almost 2 years now. More even. Its sickening.
I think I’ve ranted the same thing over and over too many times.
But I can’t live without the computer. I feel like a drug addict.