Posted by: changheuk | December 17, 2009

On those that are lower than you


I’m sure everyone has friends that are at a lower status than they are.

I have a very close friend that is on a lower status than I am. Mostly intelligence-wise.

I don’t want to go out proving this, but basically I have been treating him wrong. Whenever he doesn’t get something, or does something stupid, I spaz at him.

The proper, mature, grown-up person would not spaz. It’s just like how parents spaz at their kids. It doesn’t do shit. Maybe the kids will become even more violent when they grow up, or just scared shitless to do anything. No matter what it is, I believe a kid can be raised without being spazzed at. Not the personally-insulting type at least, just the minor “Hey son, you really shouldn’t do that … blah blah blah… because it is bad… etc.” instead of “Are you dumb? Use your fucking brain!!!”

The latter is how I treat my friend. Eventually, he has developed this defense mechanism towards me.

He was just installing a Chinese MMORPG that I burned and delivered to his house just now, called FEZ. First of all the in-game text started showing up as question marks, and he attempted to fix it by himself. I told him the solution, but he wouldn’t listen. Some other things followed, though on his MSN window were constant streams of nudging and “THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” messages. I was at this point, very very impatient.

I knew he was trying to figure out the problem by himself, but he was mentally incapable of doing so. I say this because he is very inefficient on the computer, as well as the fact that his common sense is significantly lower than mine.

Defenders of him might say “he’s probably better than you at X and Y.” That’s not the point of this post, so I’m not going to address that issue.

He eventually got pissed at how he couldn’t type Chinese, and said “this game fails.”

At that point, I had a strong urge to say “the game doesn’t fail, YOU fail.” I hated how he would arrive to quick conclusions because of his own incapability. This is a negative cycle… because he would constantly be trying to prove to me (passively) that he is not dumb and doesn’t need assistance. Whenever things go wrong, he would then blame the game or whatever it is for not meeting his agreements and standards.

Eventually, he ragequitted the game. I got so pissed I slammed the fucking table so hard that my fist hurt.


I thought about it after.

Is it my fault? Am I immature?

Would you other guys do that too?



But you know why not?

Because you would’ve already ditched these sort of incapable friends.

Most people surround themselves with people that are of equal or decent status.

You don’t see good looking guys surrounded by ugly fat chicks all the time.

You don’t see hardcore academics hanging out with drug-dealing gangsters.

Stereotypes, yes, but it is quite truthful.


Am I too nice of a person? Why do I cling on to so many “low” friends?

Maybe I am just that “low” myself?


These things wouldn’t happen if I was a ruthless bastard in screening my friends. I would just be always with people that had the same intellectual abilities as I did, and there would be no occurrences of capability differences…


I don’t know. Maybe sometimes, friends aren’t always about status.


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