Posted by: changheuk | February 10, 2010


This is actually going to be one of the first meaningful, thought-provoking posts in a long time.

On the topic of making mistakes. The way I live and progress, is by making mistakes and learning not to repeat them again. This is, as I have realized, to be far too error-prone and unsuccessful. Lets give an example. I practically have to go through a really bad first midterm mark to do well on the second midterm mark. The problem with this is that I end up getting a mediocre mark, because things balance out.

A lot of things in life, you just can’t afford doing bad the first time. You can’t blame it on this excuse of how you progress by making mistakes. Mistakes are unavoidable, but I am seeing them as a mandatory prerequisite for accomplishing better things. Yes, that might be true for something like inventing the light bulb or finding the cure for cancer, but in a much easier environment and circumstance like school, I don’t see the point of making mistakes.

And I just can’t seem to learn something if I don’t make a mistake first. Another good example is that I accidentally opened the passenger door when getting out of a car so it slammed into a passing-by car’s side mirror. I was too long back then but this has developed into a paranoia of opening doors. I also have scratched up my car’s wheel frames due to inexperience in curb parking, so I have a fear whenever I do pullovers now. Of course, this has led to me being an expert in doing pullovers without hitting the curb (I do it a pussy way) and opening the door to get out of the car, but seriously… I mean come on, I’m sure most people haven’t encountered such events to realize they have to be careful. I’m sure most people don’t fail out of university and then realize that your transcript grades matter for future purposes. I’m sure most people realize these things.

You can argue that many people don’t realize these things, and commit too big a mistake, such as knocking up a girl, or accidental murder, or just plain intentional crime. But these numbers are few compared to normal people who haven’t had major f**k-ups … I have learned to stop taking extreme bad examples to make myself look better (it does comfort but it serves no purpose for self-improvement).

Now you might think that I am just hyperbolizing inevitable things that occur in one’s life to rant about. But there are just too many things I can’t overlook… many have been preventable but I couldn’t have known to prevent it, unless you give me hindsight. Hindsight is taking action after something has happened. Its too late by then. I would just tell my conscious: “Thanks, I know getting fired or failing is bad, but please let me know that its THIS bad earlier next time.”

What I want? BAD, PREVENTABLE THINGS to stop occurring.

Right off the bat, I can think of several reasons:
– I pay too little attention to something that I don’t think is capable of causing a problem
– I have a habit of not giving a crap until the problem blows up (maybe I just rephrased the previous point…)
I am born very uncreative, I can’t make associations, and I can’t realize that problem A might make problem B happen, and in effect I don’t prevent problem B, only problem A, thus there will always be a problem B-blowup

Yeah I think that’s it. I think I have to be constantly cautious. Unfortunately, when we are tired, fatigued, sleepy, nervous, rushed… we forget these things. That’s called being human, but I won’t accept that as an excuse.

The worst mistakes I am making right now are obviously about school. I simply don’t know what to study for until I get dissected on the test and realize I should have studied X and Y part. I am not born holistic, so making associations to things I don’t know are inherently tough. Is this spelling out the end for me? Do I simply have to “study” more, knowing that only 20% of what I study for actually counts? Hell, the stuff I was most weak at, which is a whole section of a chapter, wasn’t even asked today on the midterm. Instead, it kept tackling a small fact made at the start of each section that I barely knew. This is the problem. Its just like preventing terrorists from ever attacking again. You can’t. You have to cope with a few hundred people dying to a stupid bomb or hijacking once in a while. Is there SERIOUSLY no way to prevent stuff like this?


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