Here’s a great article by TD (Owen Cook) called ‘Processing the Long-Term:
|Today’s folks have a short attention span. Most people don’t have what it takes to be successful in any endeavour – be it getting through a long book, sticking to a diet, getting to the gym, or anything else that requires the implementation of a habit.
The average person can’t hold their own attention in a lecture that lasts longer than a few hours, and fewer still can retain and articulate a summary of what they learned. I laugh at how most people I know think that they will start businesses, and yet if they’re required to get to a simple task they can’t accomplish even that.
The mind does not learn how to hold attention or switch states over night. It’s conditioned over long periods. To sit down and read a book for half an hour is hard for some people. For others, it’s easy to spend an entire day in study. The same goes for implementing habits.
For some people it is easy, because their mind is conditioned to *process* the long term benefits. Moreover, they have a history of having implemented habits and seeing a result from it (as opposed to someone who’s never accomplished something via a long term endeavour and so has no reference of what it would feel like).
The qualities that make you successful in the endeavour of becoming good with women are the same qualities that make you successful in life. The level of success that I achieved wasn’t bred over night. It was a culmination of previous patterns of success that I’d built over 20 years. Learning to pick up women wasn’t the first thing I applied myself to build a level of skill at, and it certainly won’t be the last.
I have no problem sitting inside all day to read something that will help me. And there is no doubt that after having done that, I WILL be able to articulate what I learned from that book – both in summary and in detail. I’ll also have a precise game plan of how I’ll IMPLEMENT and USE what I learned.
Generally I can learn from people and quickly filter out what is useless and find the positives. You will rarely hear me speak negatively of anything or anyone, because I am focused only on the positives of my experiences and what I can learn. People will ask me what I thought of a book and I’ll say “It was great.” They’ll point out all the flaws and ask me if I agree, and to that I respond that at this point for me to find any idea of perspective that I hadn’t come across is a good find. I saw the negatives, but they were filtered so quickly that I literally FORGOT about them.
Most people, from my perspective, live life in a trance of reaction. There is no proactive steering of the ship. They just walk through life in a daze and react to things as they come up. They seek out structure to keep them in check, almost like grown up children. It is simply TOO HARD for them to implement habits that don’t yield instant results over the long term. Their minds aren’t conditioned to process it, beyond the immediate emotional reactions that they’re feeling. I sympathize, but honestly it’s just pathetic – if you feel that you are a part of this majority you should make it your life mission to change your status.
Their mind is not processing any harsh sense of immediacy, because it hasn’t made an emotional link between the way they live their lives and the lackluster way that their lives will end up. They just don’t see how severe the consequences are and they think they’ll live forever.
They don’t realize that time is ticking away.. That in ten years their mind won’t process how much they avoided inconveniencing themselves, but only the interesting and cool things that they did in between.
Guys are no different about the process of becoming good with women. They don’t process that there are all these amazing women out there that they will never experience – that they are missing out of one of the best things that life has to offer… That their life is BORING.
To me, there is only one priority in the area with women. GO OUT. Get out there and meet people. Get social experience under your belt.
Build it into your life. Create a plan and NEVER deviate from it – not even one time. Accept that it’s there the same way that you accept all crucial things in life. Make it a “part of who you are”.
Work to change the way you process things. Realize that you are getting old and that your life will pass you by FAST.
You need a detailed vision for what you want your life to look like by the time you die, and a detailed plan of what DAILY HABITS you need to REALIZE that life.
Stop processing things in terms of the immediacy of how it’s making you feel, and rewire your emotions to respond to whether or not you’re living your values and moving closer to your overall vision for yourself.
Do this, and do it continually, and your life will expand proactively instead of stagnate in a reactive haze like most of your friends.